Study reveals that studies often reveal obvious facts.

An independent study funded by the apathy foundation has revealed that studies often reveal obvious facts that everyone already knew or could have figured out for themselves. The study also revealed that most people don’t care about most studies.

The study has cited how other studies have shown the most obvious things, for example, “bathroom to be the most dangerous room in the house followed by the kitchen“, “combining drugs and alcohol is bad for you“, “drivers carrying guns are more prone to road rage“, “far away objects are harder to see“, “memory and concentration fade with age“, and that “people make poor relationship decisions while drunk“.

Spokesman for the apathy society David Blasé said “Do we really need to waste time with studies that show how people get hungry after smoking pot? The time has come for the world to unite and say with one apathetic voice, ‘We just don’t care’. The fact is we just really don‘t care about the effects of too many meetings on someone’s mood because most of us would figure out that too many meetings will make people grumpy.”

Researcher Ben Laden defends the obvious studies saying “You give the population too much credit, studies have shown that without a study most Americans wouldn’t know that bears defecate in the woods or what the word defecate even means. On the bear study we even had to differentiate between actual bears and Chicago football players. Do we really need a study to show that researchers get high before we decide what the next research paper should be about? Oh yeah, I guess you would.”

The debate continues as people within the apathy society are questioning the need for a study on studies and are demanding an investigation into why their dues were used in such a way. Apathy society leadership stated “We didn’t think anyone would care.”