GM to hire warlock as new CEO.

In an unsurprising move, GM has hired a warlock to be their new CEO. This follows their recent trend of hiring people who no nothing of cars. And their long standing trend of not hiring a woman.[1] Here’s the president of GM at a fake press conference tis morning. “We are pleased to announced our newest edition to GM, Warlock Sam. His credentials of a lvl 50 character is very impressive. We believe his Accrued Shroud Spell and Telepathic abilities will come in handy in the production of motor vehicles…As every, company knows, there is always room for more management in the midst of a depression. That is why we’ve made hiring a new CEO, a yearly practice…We know GM hasn’t always picked the greatest CEOs in the past. Mistakes have been made. But we’re not here to point fingers or figure out were we went wrong. We’re here to move forward, which we can somehow o without learning from the past. In any case, if this doesn’t wok, we can continue to hire new CEOs until it does.”

People have criticized the new CEO of not having any automotive experience, and thus he might not be the bes choice as the new CEO. Okay, no one said that, but here is the President of GM defining his choice. “We’ve tried hiring car guys in the past, and look where that got us. A series of successes and failures. But most recently a failure. We were unable to predict that a massive housing bubble would occur and subsequently be covered up by complicated mortgage loans, which were broken into derivatives, which were package and resold with less risky assets. Which led to a recession and the tightening of credit, which included auto-loans. As the leader of an automotive company, the CEO should have seen this coming. If we did we could have prevented near bankruptcy, by taking a large amount before the crisis, like Ford did.[2]. I mean, I guess we could’ve hired a financial expert, but the brought down the economy, and are very unpopular right now. I mean, has a warlock ever done that?[3]

[1] Ouch cheap shot.
[2]It’s seems like luck more than skill
[3]Blame the CEOs
[4]Image under CC Attribution 2.0 Generic by Bohman