Degrees of Diplomas

Every Autumn, people generally between the ages of 18 and 22, come together at hundreds, if not thousands of educational institutes around the country. Of course these are only the ones that can afford to do so. Many more people get straight to work, by choice or not.

Unfortunately, America’s post-secondary educational system’s favorite hobby is to stick its head between its legs and kiss each butt cheek for a job well done, ripping off America’s future. This all before it promptly shoves its emblematic head up its crack which tends to make the system go ass backwards.

Colleges and universities start fresh by force feeding pamphlets to each and every high school student, promising a jump start to a wonderful future career that eight out of ten times the student will end up hating. Also assured to them is their friends and parents’ approval along with eternal glory and (at some schools I hear) 72 virgins. What they fail to mention is that you won’t be accepted if you don’t score well enough on their trivial standardized testing.

“But my GPA is 3.2 and I’m super talented!”
Too bad, kiddo.

However, if you do somehow satiate their lust for impertinence you’re in! Wait… you can afford to go, right? Not if you’re a middle class white guy! Minorities and women have all kind of scholarships available, while the poor are given money from the government, like a dad buys his child’s love. And rich people… well their rich; give ‘em a tax break. But let’s say they get past all this…

Once enrolled, their thousands of dollars are being spent on pleasing the college execs. Remember, they should be honored that they are giving the institute their money while being demanded to take what classes are deemed necessary.

“But I don’t like Calculus!”

Do it or go back to your parents. They’ll probably disown you.
The crazy artistically inclined students… what are they thinking, being art, creative writing, music and theater majors? Take business management! Who cares if they’ll be miserable the rest of their careers when they make $35,000 a year? (If they can get a job). Of course they can be creative, but no one will take them seriously. But what’s it to the college if they feel like wasting their money?

But I digress…

Here’s a list of very successful college graduates: Ban Ki-Moon, Stephen Hawking, Eric E. Schmidt, Warren Buffet, Louis Rossetto, Vint Cerf, Reggie Fils-Aime, Kurt Vonnegut, and John Edwards.

Now for comparison, here’s a list of college drop-outs: Rachael Ray, John D. Rockefeller, Simon Cowell, Abraham Lincoln, Julie Andrews, Michael J. Fox, Sean Connery, Amancio Ortega Gaona, Wolfgang Puck, Walt Disney, Dave Thomas, and Halle Berry.

There’s one major difference here. Creative people are all in the drop-out list (save for Kurt Vonnegut. I like to think he got a degree out of spite). Now, it’s not that it’s not fair, but rather than funneling every young person into a liberal arts school, shouldn’t their be more importance placed on the creative institutions? Nowadays it seems like it’s a crime to want to break into something like writing or painting unless you know people who will get you in.

Point being, it’s ok if people want to make a living doing something happy. That could mean being a doctor or playing as a doctor on stage. Let’s try to keep that in mind, America. To each their own.

Author’s Notes: Follow my other writings at Stories by Josh Musser or contact me with suggestions or comments via email at musserlit@yahoo.com