Wow doesn't this just make you want to vote for this candidate or become an astronaut.

Primaries have been fierce here across all the states in The United States. But none have been as fierce as the primaries in the state of insanity. A political victory for candidate Mr. Feign has everyone talking. What does his win over incumbent DR. Aristocracy mean? Does I sense a trend that can be blatantly applied to all states? Probably not.

For more on the win, we go to candidate Mr. Feign. “You see people hate our government. Why? Because every single legislator, local or national, has become corrupt for some unknown reason. Perhaps its a virus or special interests. But it has to change. We need to go back to the government of the past. Cuz that government was totally awesome, and no one ever hated it.” (more…)

Too be fair, that is pretty cool.

Protesters gather in front of capital hill today. In order to defend the wonderful act of assault. A spokesperson for the movement, Mr. Unbalanced, had this to say: “For too long, we have let ignorant lawmakers decide which laws to make, instead of ignorant citizens. No longer. Everyone’s doing it. How bad could it be? We’ll be here until we get change. Or get bored. We’re easily distracted”

Critics claim that murder is bad and has a negative impact on the economy. Not so, says some professor I found. “These people just don’t understand today’s youth. But more and more youth are becoming violent. And we can either choose to make peace with that or treat a whole generation like their criminals. Do we really want that?”

Image under CC 2.0 Attribution by polina sergeeva

Fear it!

Today, It was discovered that alkaline terrorist have found a new plan to destroy America from the inside out. For more on this development we go to a self-proclaim expert on something, Dr. Fear. “By smuggling foreigners into the country, they can then raise a family, establish a community, Find people who will trust them. Then their children will have children and follow in their parents footsteps. And that’s when they strike. It’s going to be devastating. Estimates of population loss range from 0-80 percent.”[1]

“Devastating. Imagine it. A world where the majority is now the minority. New ideas and New cultures have replaced your own. All because Millions of people came together to conspire against you. But all hope is not lost. We can prevent this disaster from happing. All we need to suppress any idea that differs from your own. As long there is no idea that is contrary to your own. Then there is nothing to fear.”

[1] I love this site

The Victims' of interactive media?(4)

California has passed a new law that would ban excessive violence in interactive media. While “Excessive Violence” isn’t very defined, it is very, very scary. The measure was introduced to ensure the physiological well-being of the Children. Which based on Peer-reviewed fears of cornered parents, interactive media can turn your kids into a killer and/or a radish [1]. Horrible.

Critics of the new plan call the ban, a ban on free speech. But that’s absurd. Proponents of the bill explain that Interactive media is vastly different passive media because “…the child becomes a part of the action which serves as a potent agent to facilitate violence and over time learns the destructive behavior. This immersion results in a more powerful experience and potentially dangerous learned behavior in children and youth…” [2]. The founding fathers, obviously didn’t mean to include this in free speech. (more…)

Enthused about the debate.(11)

Today, Google reveled it’s use of the H.264 was a big joke, to rile people up. And boy did it work. See, H.264 is a video codec that has been criticized for its propriety nature and its large licensing fee, hidden from users by requiring distributors of to pay. But still holding users responsible if they us an unauthorized encoder.[1]. Google Representative Mr. Plex explains.

“Here at Google were always looking to do something new. So some of the developers, thought it would be funny to say we were going to H.264 codec, for our HTML 5 video[2]. So that’s what we did, and hilarity ensued. First Mozilla was all like ‘You can’t use that, H.264 is crap. Look at all its patents, we use the good shit for our HTML 5 video tag. That’s right Theora’[3]. Then Apple was all, ‘Oh yeah, well maybe Theora isn’t really patent-free even though its open source. Oh, didn’t think of that,did you?’ [4] Then Microsoft step in to defend H.264 saying ‘Hey, maybe H.264 isn’t so bad. Trust us, we don’t have any biasis here at all. I mean we’re only getting a small amount of royalites from H.264.’[5] (more…)